Chichi’s Pipebomb #2: How I would book Wrestlemania 33

Kickoff Matches:

Neville v Austin Aries

Why is it that all the matches, that I am very excited about, happen to be on the kickoff show?

WHY?!

The build up to this match was done amazingly (good work WWE Creative!)

Neville turning heel was one of the best decisions that the WWE has ever made and bringing up Aries from NXT was an even better call.

The fact that The Brian Kendrick, Rich Swann and TJ Perkins are not in the title picture shows that the title is really up for grabs for anyone.

It shows that on 205 LIVE, there is opportunity for everyone.

I do believe that Neville is capable (honestly, have you seen him wrestle?!) but Aries might just get the upper hand on this one.

The reason for that would be that Aries would (hopefully) be a superb champion and could put 205 LIVE on the map.

205 LIVE has a lot of potential but it just has not really achieved its full potential.

Balor did it for NXT.

Before Finn Balor joined NXT, it was just a developmental system.

He managed to take system to new heights and it quickly became a force to be reckoned with. Yeah, he did not do it alone but he was the focal point of the whole push.

Could Aries do the same with 205 LIVE? I think so.

Winner: Austin Aries

 

2017 Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Thus far, the people involved are:

Sami Zayn

Braun Strowman

Goldust

R-Truth

Curtis Axel

Dolph Ziggler

Jey Uso

Jimmy Uso

Chad Gable

Jason Jordan

Primo

Epico

Bo Dallas

Jinder Mahal

Rhyno

Heath Slater

Apollo Crews

Mojo Rawley

Big Show

Curt Hawkins

Tyler Breeze

Fandango

Tian Bing

Mark Henry

Looking at the list above, I am a bit disappointed.

All (ALL) SmackDown LIVE tag teams are in this match!!!

None of the tag teams are on the show yet Raw has a triple threat tag team match…

This is the same issue as the Women’s Divisions on both shows not receiving equal opportunities.

We just crowned new tag team champions on SmackDown LIVE yet we see them in an Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal…

I cannot wrap my head around this. Let me not comment further.

I have been hearing rumours that this might be the Big Show’s last big show (see what I did there? :P) so he might just win the whole thing but then… he has already won it before.

Sami Zayn is the next major draw for me. He would get an amazing reaction from the crowd and his status as a babyface will be drilled in.

Winner: Sami Zayn

 

Actual Show:

SmackDown Women’s Championship Match

First of all, what the hell?!

How did this match end up on the kickoff show?!

This is frustrating.

I was¬†actually looking forward to the SmackDown Women’s Championship Match more than the Raw Women’s Championship Match and then this happens!

Maybe it is just me but I feel like SmackDown LIVE is doing a better job at keeping all of their women afloat, as opposed to Raw.

Raw seems to be ony pushing four women. What about the rest of their women’s roster?

You are trying to convince me that Bayley v Banks v Flair v Jax is more important than the Bliss v All Women match? Yeah, does not work for me.

This also gives the illusion that WWE is still pushing Raw as the better show, as opposed to being equal.

But anyway… this week on SmackDown LIVE, we saw the return of Naomi and we certainly felt the glow. ūüėÄ

I am a fan of Naomi and think she is an amazing, versatile athlete.

The match will be Alexa Bliss v Every Available SmackDown LIVE woman.

This means that it will be Bliss v Lynch v Carmella v Natalya v James v Naomi (Nikki Bella is in a different match)

I like this match as every woman from SmackDown LIVE will have something to do and this brings different flavours to the match but who do I think is going to win?

Mickie James.

Let me explain.

If James wins, this would be something that people would not have been expecting.

She would draw so much heat. She would be able to fight the whole roster, as she has never had a match with a number of them.

Winner: Mickie James

 

Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson v Enzo Amore & Big Cass v Cesaro & Sheamus

Gallows & Anderson were once members of my favourite wrestling faction: Bullet Club.

As a fan of the Bullet Club, I watched many of their matches (some including Gallows & Anderson).

These two were a force to be reckoned with and upon their WWE arrival, I was excited.

The fact that they were going to be more available meant less hassle for fans of the Bullet Club.

They joined with AJ Styles to form “The Club”, which was WWE’s spinoff of Bullet Club.

They did really well but people could tell that they were nothing more than sidekicks.

They eventually broke up (because of the 2016 Brand Split) and it seemed that the best was yet to come for Gallows & Anderson.

Fast-forward to early 2017… they are the Raw Tag Team Champions (yay!) but they still have not really received the pop they deserve (nay).

The titles might switch hands at Wrestlemania 33.

To who? I do not know.

None of the tag teams do it for me.

I just struggle to see Amore & Cass as the champions. Cesaro & Sheamus were champions before and… yeah…

Winner: Cesaro & Sheamus

 

Dean Ambrose v Baron Corbin

If this was a non-title match, I would say Corbin would take it but then this IS a title match.

Corbin just is not receiving much reaction from the WWE Universe (or the IWC, as a whole) and I am not sure whether WWE would actually take that risk of angering the fans.

Winner: Dean Ambrose

 

John Cena & Nikki Bella v The Miz & Maryse

I am actually looking to see how this match unfolds.

Will WWE continue their monstrous push of The Miz or will they make him fall victim to the ‘Buried by John Cena Society’?

As for Nikki Bella and Maryse… well… whilst Bella has improved tremendously in the ring, over the years, we have not seen Maryse and I honestly do not remember how she was in the ring (back in the day).

I remember Maryse being champion but I do not really know of her capabilities.

But hey…

I hear that Cena is officially becoming a part-time wrestler and that Bella’s neck has been acting up again, therefore she will be taking time off after Wrestlemania.

Last year, Styles beat Cena and became the biggest star of WWE.

Perhaps WWE will use that same formula for The Miz and Maryse?

Winners: The Miz & Maryse

 

Chris Jericho v Kevin Owens

This match has been on the build-up ever since they became friends.

The build up of this match has been amazing. From promos to distractions, it has been worth our time.

Owens is a bit more aggressive and a bit more new to the business.

Owens is who the WWE will probably want give the title to, so that he propels the WWE forward.

Winner: Kevin Owens

 

Bayley v Charlotte Flair v Sasha Banks v Nia Jax

The women’s fatal-4 way match has been long-awaited for.

Now we are getting it (sort of)

See, when the match was anticipated, it was meant to be the Four Horsewomen.

This would have meant: Bayley v Flair v Banks v Lynch but now, with Becky Lynch on the SmackDown LIVE side, Raw had to make a plan. Out of everyone, they choose Nia Jax as the replacement.

Jax received a similar push as Strowman (squash matches and all) but she just does not fit into this picture.

I do not know who will win but considering that there has been rumour about an approaching heel turn…

Winner: Sasha Banks

 

Shane McMahon v AJ Styles

This match makes me a bit angry.

SmackDown LIVE has a whole roster filled with good wrestlers yet they choose a 47-year old part-timer (who also happens to be the commissioner of the show) to fight AJ Styles.

Yeah, people are saying that Styles will benefit but I am not sure how…

Think about it this way:

  1. Styles defeats McMahon.
  2. McMahon gets labelled as weak (being defeated at two consecutive Wrestlemanias)
  3. There is no further storyline (thus proving to the IWC that WWE just wanted to have Styles at Wrestlemania and could not find a better person)

Or…

  1. McMahon defeats Styles
  2. Styles loses ALL his credibility because (and this is not to undermine McMahon’s capabilities) but he got beat by a part-timer.
  3. Their feud continues (stripping Styles of time to fight other wrestlers)

Honestly, when I look at it, the first option is less damage than the second option.

WWE have put themselves in a ditch and they certainly will not come out unscathed)

AJ Styles HAS to win otherwise all the work of 2016/17 will be undone by this one match.

Winner: AJ Styles

 

The Undertaker v Roman Reigns

If I could, I would not even comment on this match.

We all know my dislike for Reigns (Pipebomb about that still coming)

Undertaker and Reigns are fighting. What is the purpose of this match?

To see whose yard WWE is (sigh)

Reigns is set to become the new Superman (i.e. John Cena), meaning that he will almost never get beat. If he does, it will be through cheating.

This person is meant to be a good guy and receive huge pops from the crowds but with Reigns… he is receiving almost the exact opposite.

Now, Undertaker is apparently retiring at Wrestlemania.

I only have one question, if this is the case:

ROMAN REIGNS WILL BE THE PERSON TO RETIRE THE UNDERTAKER?

Are they serious?

With coming of age and more injuries than matches in one year, this could be the case.

In WWE’s quest to push Reigns, are they willing to sacrifice one of their greatest creations of ALL TIME?

Winner: The Undertaker (I hope)

 

Seth Rollins v Triple H

This match has been long brewing.

Now that it is happening, Rollins is going in injured.

That was probably the worst thing to happen (thus far) in 2017.

It already puts Rollins at a disadvantage, that is just sad.

With Triple H just being behind the scenes these days, there is a chance that he could be just used to push Rollins further.

Ever since Rollins’ return mid-year last year, he has not really been getting hype.

Maybe this is a way of getting him back at the top?

Either way, I do not suggest that Triple H wins the match.

Winner: Seth Rollins

 

Goldberg v Brock Lesnar

I do not want to even say what I feel about this match.

Two part-timers are wrestling for a championship and to top it all off: THIS IS THE MAIN EVENT!

Why?

Nonetheless, there is no way in hell (Starts Vince McMahon’s theme song) that Goldberg is walking out of Wrestlemania still champion.

Especially because he is incapable of staying in a match longer than two minutes (rumours, people)

Winner: Brock Lesnar

 

Bray Wyatt v Randy Orton

If two years ago you had told me that Wyatt would one day go into Wrestlemania as champion, I probably would not have believed you.

Until late last year, it was unclear as to what WWE’s plans for the Eater of Worlds were. He had his Wyatt Family but, in my opinion, they all seemed to be holding each other back from greatness. With the draft landing Strowman on the Raw roster and Erick Rowan being out on injury, Luke Harper and Bray Wyatt were left alone. They went together to SmackDown LIVE and yeah… things happened.

Eventually, Randy Orton joined the Wyatt (after several weeks of feuding with them) and he continued with them until late February 2017 (he had even given up his Royal Rumble Match privilege!)

By the time Orton turned on Wyatt, Harper had already departed from the group (after not seeing eye to eye with Wyatt anymore), and their championship match is now set for Wrestlemania 33.

I think Wyatt should hold onto the title, for the good of the WWE.

Winner: Bray Wyatt

 

Let me be honest: 

I do not know which match is the main event and I kind of do not know what exactly to expect. 

I just hope that WWE finds a way to bring a good show.

 

Update: Shinsuke Nakamura did not regain the NXT Championship… could this mean that his main roster debut is closer now?

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